via Story Reveal #9: Perfidious Bounty
A story about the courage of a woman who lost almost everything through unfair advantage at work, in the entertainment industry in Trinidad.
Category: inspirational
Author Reveal #1: A.C. Lang, The Internship
via Author Reveal #1: A.C. Lang, The Internship
Look at the video in this post to find out about one of the authors in Hot Cocoa on a Rainy Day, 10 (+1) Stories to Warm Your Heart.
Research on a Cocoa Estate!
Enjoy this visit to a real cocoa estate.
My Latest Project
I have neglected to share that I am working on a new book, an anthology of true inspirational stories written by Trinidadian authors.
The book is almost completed including proofreading and editing.
I have started to share summaries of the stories on my alternative website, my author site.
The title of the book is Hot Cocoa on a Rainy Day, 10 (+1) Stories to Warm Your Heart.
You can read the first of the summaries here. Enjoy and please leave some feedback in the comments, if you like or if you think you would want to read the stories.
Thank you.
Keep Active No Matter What!
#FitnessFriday #Exerciseandthingsphysical #resilience #bounceback
If you know me at all, you know that my go to fitness routine will involve running.
However not everyone likes running or even likes a formal workout!
While it is better to have a basic fitness routine for cardio benefits and for strength training, any activity is better than none.
My mum, who is 75 years old but looks younger than 57, is active. She keeps moving all day on most days.
At one time, her glucose levels were high and she was having difficulty controlling it. Additionally, her tummy was getting a bit bigger than she would have liked it to be.
I tried coaxing her to take up walking, after all she had bought a pair of walking shoes that had not been used for… let’s just say ever since she bought them.
She eventually caved in to my nagging and set out with me one day. My mum was definitely not in her comfort zone. I had never seen her look more vulnerable than on that day and after that, I never brought up the subject again. Of course, she never ventured out to walk again.
However, she does keep active at home. We have stairs inside and she moves from upstairs to downstairs regularly! She hangs clothes outside on the clothes lines and runs out to take them up at the first sign of rain! At 75, that is admirable.
In her way, she keeps active.
Don’t ever let anything or anyone keep you from doing any type of activity. The idea is that you keep moving to keep your body and your mind functioning properly.
Sometimes, we are afraid to start doing some activity because we might not do it well, we may not be successful, others may laugh at us or any number of other reasons. It can even be our previous experiences that keep us from trying new things.
This can box us into a little cubbyhole and keep us from achieving our goals, which could be anything from an academic certificate to a well toned body.
In my case, I could have allowed fear to prevent me from running on the road ever again; fear of crime and the crime situation in our country. I would have missed out on a lot of free therapy had I not started back running.
Although I have continued to run, it is a constant battle with myself to get out there and do it.
There are times I lose the fight and stay at home, eating chocolates, cake and other great stuff that does me no good physically. I have even opted to stay at home to look at movies because it feels like too much effort to face the road.
I struggle with this constantly, even though I love running so much. The good thing is that I never ever give up. As difficult as it gets sometimes, I push to keep going.
Don’t let fear hold you back from doing the things that need to be done.
Whatever you do make sure you enjoy doing and are comfortable doing it.
Your overall well-being and health is dependent on:
* getting enough exercise in whatever form we have a preference, ensuring we do aerobic as well as resistance exercises
* proper diet
*proper hydration
*supplementing the diet
*rest and sleep
*fasting occasionally
*reducing sugar, caffeine, processed foods and alcohol in the diet
Make time to look after your physical health and you will see the added benefits to your mental and emotional health.
Seven Key Questions to Answer Before Publishing OR Writing Your Book
So, you want to become a published author? Congratulations! The world needs to hear your message.
Whether you decide to go the traditional or self-publishing route, it is a step that must not be taken lightly without due thought, purpose and passion.
By all means, please start as soon as the idea comes to you. But, having the idea to write and an idea of your topic is not enough. There are several things that need to be in place or at least that you need to start putting in place as well.
Having got to the point of deciding to write, perhaps you may have even started, then you ought to take some time to answer some of the following questions, that is, if you want to pave your way to a successful and sustainable launch.
Seven Questions to Help Guide You on Your Writing and Publishing Journey
- Will you be using an ad hoc writing technique or will you work with an outline? Working with an outline helps keep me focused and able to delve deeply enough into each chapter. You may find that it is easier to just write then find order, especially if you are writing fiction. It really is what works better for you.
- Do you have deadlines and designated times and places to write? Having deadlines for each step of the writing process is vital for keeping your manuscript alive. Without deadlines, you can lose steam and never finish, you can blame writer’s block or you may delay finishing: when will the first draft be completed; set your date for completing the book cover; who will edit, by what date; have a date in mind for submission to the publisher. A good publishing company removes a lot of the heartache associated with self-publishing. You may find a good one here. Remember that each stage is a process that requires time. My mentor for my first book reminded me that there must be “gestation periods” to allow the product to reach its greatest quality. Keeping a regular schedule for writing and the kind of place you find conducive to writing motivates you to keep writing. I like quiet. I write best when no one else is around to ask me something or to interrupt my thought process therefore I go at it on mornings or during the day when I am alone. But, I also write if I have to wait at, for example, the doctor’s office. Sometimes a change of scenery stimulates your “writer’s gland”.
- Who is your target audience? At this stage, you should begin to plan for your marketing strategy. Actually, if you could have done this before writing, it would be even better. Nonetheless, if you have begun to write, it may be clearer to you, the type of reader who would want to read your book. With this in mind, you can adjust your writing style, language and concepts to be more appealing for your target audience. Are you writing for young children, for teens, for young adults, older folks, for a specific industry or skill or hobby? These are all important questions to consider.
- Where will this type of reader be in cyber space? This is important because you want to be sure to find yourself in those same places. You would want to do this so that you can begin to build a relationship with potential readers. After gradually getting to know them and vice versa, you can reveal that you are writing your book. Take it in increments. First share that you are writing, then what you are writing, then maybe what was your inspiration, maybe share a small portion or a paragraph of what is already done to seek feedback. By doing this you have begun your marketing and market research.
- Where will this type of reader be in the real world? Utilizing the same principles as for the reader in cyber space, you begin to network and build real relationships. If you are writing fiction, join local libraries, go to cafes or social networking events to meet your possible readers. If you are a non-fiction writer, visit related clubs, Rotary Clubs, Lions Clubs, Community Centers, Chambers of Commerce, related industry networking events and other such events. These will present opportunities to position yourself in front of your target audience, giving you more impact than virtual meetings. Emotions are powerful weapons that can be used for good in the right hands with the right motives. Use this power to foster strong links with your potential readers, thereby building a base of future fans. Let the anticipation for your soon to be released book build. The greater the anticipation, the greater the positive reception and sales for your book. It will also serve as a motivating factor to help you keep on writing to meet imposed deadlines.
- Do you have a written marketing plan? I did not at first but soon taught myself how to do one and did it. It may not have been the best plan nor was it done like a professional plan but it was certainly very useful and helped move the marketing successfully along. A marketing plan must be as detailed as possible, including a description of your ideal reader, goals, action plans, expected outcomes and deadline dates. A good idea is to start spreading the word to those who are closest to you, your family members, friends, neighbours, community and then beyond…the sky is the limit. Contact television stations, newspapers, radio stations, related bloggers, podcast interviewers, and get interviews done. Contact the groups with which you began networking. Set up opportunities to spread your book’s message.
- Have you brushed up on your public speaking skills? This is extremely important to your success. You may be shy, an introvert, have a speech impediment (like me) or just don’t like speaking in large groups. That does not matter. A great part of your marketing will involve you…speaking. The better your communication skills, the more effectively you can connect with your readers, the more will be your sales and your fan base will grow at a rapid rate.
There you have it. Seven important steps to take into consideration as you write your book and prepare to launch. There are other steps to consider but these are some critical ones. Perhaps if your feedback indicates the need for more info, I will share some more details in a future post.
Have you started to write or do you already have a published book? Leave a comment below to share where you are in your writing journey.
10 (+1) Key Steps for Pushing Past the Pain
What is Pain? More precisely, what is emotional pain?
The image above shows the pathway for how we perceive physical pain. The pathway for emotional pain is different but can produce equally or even greater effects, including physical effects.
How then do we define something so intangible yet so real and so harsh as emotional pain?
Just like me, I am sure you too have had numerous painful experiences. Some are much easier to get over than others. Some just have to be worked out of the system over time. Regardless, there are steps that we all can take to help us push past the pain when it feels like it will never subside.
To get back to the definition of this “pain”, I think it is best to define it by example.
A few days ago, I lost my best friend. I felt as though the external atmospheric pressure had suddenly shot up so high that all the air was forced out of my body! How could I move, eat, talk, laugh, go out or even think anymore?
A void that seemed to be abysmal was created by this loss.
This is what “pain” is: that hollowness; the emptiness; the dull,constant ache; the ennui; all this and much more is what makes up the pain.
When the proverbial rug was pulled out from under me five and a half years ago, I felt that pain like I had never felt it before. I lost almost everything that I had for the first forty seven years of my life. Thankfully I still had my son, my mother and my brothers.
My life was shattered. My face was shattered. My career path was shattered. My emotional reference points were shattered. I was at a loss.
Many persons, including my relatives and friends (and perhaps even me) felt that was the end of my life. And it was. It was the end of the first part of my life.
It was also the beginning of my second chance at life.
Slowly, the “pain” was used to push forward. Step by baby step. Systematically I dragged myself out of the pit of despair.
The physical damage was done. What God had made and man had tried to destroy, no man could remake as He had done. I had to grow to accept this new me. The acceptance came as gradual changes took place, both in my appearance and in my thinking.
The financial damage was staggering for a divorced mother of one, with both a home mortgage and vehicle loan to repay and savings diverted to reconstructive and plastic surgery. All this compounded by no more steady salary from teaching in a public school as I had been called before the medical board and accepted retirement on medical grounds. I am still in the process of overcoming this obstacle but it is getting easier day by day.
Then there was the big one. The emotional hurdles that could pose a challenge for even the best “Olympian”. The hardest part for me was to put on a bright face for everyone around me. They seemed less able to accept what had happened than I was. I could not let them be hurt further by seeing my own hurt and pain.
How could I explain to anyone the confusion in my mind? I no longer knew who I was. Prior to the incident, if anyone asked, “Who is Caron Asgarali?” I think I could have answered. I might have said that she is a teacher, a mother, a sister, a daughter, a friend, a runner…But now, I was unsure.
I questioned if I really even knew who I was before. Everything that was real now seemed unreal. I felt that there was nothing I could do and no one to whom I could turn (except my God).
I felt unworthy. Unworthy to be around people and for them to want to be around me. I felt defeated and insecure; incapable of doing anything. I wanted to not be anymore. And, I could not verbalize it to anyone.
There were no thoughts of suicide. I had come to understand that it was not yet my time, so I had to wait.
Within that waiting, in the midst of all that darkness, far away in the distance, was a hint of light. Very dim light but light nonetheless.
I searched out that light and kept it in my focus like an overboard passenger holding on to the remnant of a Styrofoam container that now pollutes the oceans; holding on to stay afloat.
Out of that darkness I was slowly drawn. Picking up the pieces of my life, putting each delicate piece back into its slightly distorted space, to move closer to the clearing, out of the darkness.
In retrospect, there were some key elements that helped me to push past that pain and begin an upward spiral to the second phase of my life – a phase that seems to have more meaning, greater focus and more gratification at the very least.
This phase is trademarked by turbulent economic, moral and spiritual times. The blood of our countrymen, whatever is our country, seeps unceremoniously into news feeds, blog posts, Twitter and Instagram.
Values and morals, respect for life, compassion, empathy, consideration, forgiveness, mercy, love and peace are foreign concepts for many of the younger generation.
Our people seem to be unable to push past pain and thrive successfully and harmoniously. From my perspective, it seems to be each man (and woman) for himself (herself).
Fortunately, my life lessons have taught me that where there is hurt, there is always hope and that we can learn to transform that hurt into hope.
No matter who you are, what your background is, what you have done or where you have been, the pain that you are feeling, the pain that is holding you back from achieving your best life yet, from fulfilling your purpose, that very pain is what you can use to help propel you forward.
It is not going to be easy but there is a systematic way in which it can be done to help with the process of stepping on your pain to get to a better place.
I used the process and it helped me to publish three books since the incident, to begin promoting peace and to run my first half marathon! (that is not me in the picture!)
I will share the steps I followed and still do follow after every setback. I grouped them into four categories. There are 10 (+1) steps in the four categories. The +1 came about as an afterthought when I was doing that +1 step! Funny to me as it would be for you, if I was saying it out loud to you!
Here goes:
The four categories are:
- Emote (steps 1-3)
- Stay Afloat (steps 4 and 5)
- Devote (steps 6-8)
- Promote (steps 9 and 10)
Step 11 or 10(+1) applies to all four categories.
The 10 (+1) steps for pushing past the pain are:
- Goal setting
- Acceptance
- Minute by Minute living
- Exercise and well being
- Support
- Honor God
- I after you (humility)
- Forgiveness
- Training the brain
- Embrace giving
10 (+1). Reflection
Put them all together they spell GAMESHIFTER! Appropriate is it not?
The system is elegant yet simple, familiar and very powerful. Shift your game for success. Not gamechanger. That implies a sudden and drastic transformation that requires little or no effort.
GAMESHIFTER however implies slow, manageable effort in a methodical manner that brings about lasting, meaningful change.
If you feel like you are surviving instead of striving then the practices and action steps that I use in the GAMESHIFTER can help you.
Take a look at my book, Bounce Back Better 10 (+1) Key Steps for Building Resilience, see if you think you can relate to it as a sister, a mother, a daughter, an employee, an entrepreneur or someone who has lost a best friend. Let me know in the comments if you can.
The Power Within
I remember speaking at a meeting organised by the Association of Female Executives of Trinidad and Tobago a few years ago. At that meeting, the energy was palpable!
In the presence of so many independent women, women of intellect and influence, I was elated to be sharing with them. Being with them reminded me that the driving force behind meaningful transformation has always been an intricately woven matrix created by the coming together of women of varying ages, attributes and actions.
Women can choose to be supportive of each other or they can choose to bring down other women.
Repeatedly, history has shown that women who build up others have so much more influence than those who seek to destroy.
We have the power to transform nothing into something. We can guide others to paths of success. We hold the necessary keys to destabilize negativity and lead people through our positive energy.
Women exude love, if they want to, if they choose to, if they know what it is because they love God and themselves.
After a lifetime of trials and challenges, I have learnt to love myself as I am. I recognize my faults and work at my strengths.
I know that I cannot be everything to everyone and that no matter what I do, there will be others who choose not to like my actions or what they perceive to be my actions.
However, there are many women, even professional women, who are doing well enough but, who know within themselves that they are capable of so much more.
Somehow it is not always clear exactly what has to be done to move from one level to another, either in your professional life or in your personal life.
Sometimes it happens by chance; sometimes it happens just because you have been at it for a long time.
Sometimes it happens as a result of committed, focused and intentional work, not looking for anything but to make a vision a reality.
There is a method for turning visions into reality and it requires some knowledge, some sweat, faith and a little good luck.
For me that method became clear when I was recovering from one of the major challenges in my life. I had struck ground zero. I had to re-define every aspect of my life.
By steadfastly holding on to a vision of a brighter future, by knowing what I wanted out of the rest of my life, by discovering my purpose and then focusing efforts in that direction while maintaining a degree of practicality and engaging in some calculated risk, I was able to transition from a very dark place into a brighter space and time.
The GAMESHIFTER, a system I realized, only in hindsight, that I used, provides some valuable steps for helping anyone who feels stuck or who is having a hard time getting over a life hurdle.
What is significant is the emphasis placed on faith. Faith is the central pillar of the GAMESHIFTER.
Some of the great scientific minds in history have accepted that there is a greater force, a higher being. Even Albert Einstein.
Faith is intangible but with it anything is possible. Faith does not preach religion. It is a simple of act of trusting that there is a God that cares about you and that needs you to love Him, to love yourself and to love others.
A person with a weapon feels powerful but a person armed with love for humanity is dynamic and potent, capable of transforming rather than destroying.
Are you poised to make a powerful transformation in your life? Do you know how to move out of that place in which you have been stuck for a while?
Are you ready to take a leap of faith and use proven steps to help you out of your zone?
Leave a comment and share with me what you think is keeping you back from experiencing your greatest life yet!
Bounce Back Better: Build Social Networks
Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn and other social networking sites have large followings. This is a reflection of the basic need of human beings for love and fellowship as well as the need to feel as part of something bigger than ourselves.
We are social creatures. We need each other, to form strong bonds. We need the safety net of social support systems when other areas of our lives come crashing down.
Several years ago a home was burnt to ashes, leaving the family with no possessions. All clothing, food, school supplies, appliances and everything else in the house were destroyed.
There was an outpouring of love from a variety of persons. This love was practical, consisting of donations of food and other supplies. It came from other relatives, community members, friends and well-wishers, their children’s school fraternities, local government representatives and churches.
The family had all the support they needed to survive, eventually re-build a home and to carry on with life in a relatively short time. The ability of that family to withstand and overcome their adverse situation was greatly enhanced by their external support systems.
Similarly, when natural disasters strike, nations come together to assist those undergoing the misfortune. When Haiti and the Dominican Republic were hit by separate hurricanes some years ago, the Government and people of the Republic of Trinidad and Tobago graciously and generously assisted them.
The point is that we do not exist in isolation. We need to support each other and we need support from others to survive and thrive.
By working and playing together, our bodies produce hormones such as dopamine and serotonin that promote feelings of well being.
Supportive networks help us differentiate between what is and is not important.
Through our interactions with diverse people, we learn and improve skills that help us stay afloat during difficult times.
Just as we are advised to back up our computer systems, we need to build relationships as our human back-up systems when tragedy strikes.
Tell me, do you have a strong support network?
6 Ways to Feel Great, Even When Things Are Not So Great.
We all have good days and bad. Some of us spend many hours lost in the mental haze of sadness, exclusion and depression.
At critical points in our lives, we experience the heartache of a breakup, loss of a loved one, loss of a house or car or job.
It may even be that we become terminally ill or have a chronic disease or become seriously injured through an accident or crime.
Yet some people seem to be energized whether things are going good or bad. How do they do it?
Apparently apart from adopting a positive attitude, there are ways that we can ensure we feel good although our situation may not be good.
I have found this works for me (when I do follow it). Sometimes though it is easy to lapse into laziness or complacency and not practice the steps diligently. This takes away from the feeling of being on top of the world in spite of all that may be going wrong in your corner.
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Eating properly
Most of us know in theory what types of foods our bodies need. The question is how many of us actually take our high school nutritional education into account when eating?
We all need to eat from the following main food groups – fresh fruits and vegetables; fish, meat products and eggs or soy products for vegans; peas and beans; whole grain or high fiber cereals; ground provisions; and milk and milk products or substitutes.
Of importance, is the need for us to blend our foods in the correct proportions for optimum uptake of nutrients for cellular requirements.
2. Supplementing your diet
Over the many years of farming agricultural land, soils have become severely depleted.
So the fresh foods available to us in these times are in many instances, highly fertilized and treated with herbicides, pesticides and other potentially toxic chemicals.
Our so called fresh foods are lacking in key and trace nutrients. To be proactive and take responsibility for your nutritional health, consider supplementing your diet.
Dietary supplements include:
- vitamins
- minerals
- herbals and botanicals which provide phytonutrients
- amino acids
- enzymes.
Important questions to consider when supplementing would include, what to take, when to take it, in what combinations should supplements be taken and the use of water rather than other liquids for consuming them.
3. Hydrating
Many of us, I know I do, forget to drink sufficient water during the course of the day. Our bodies are made up mostly of water. So it is vital that we drink water to replace what is lost through perspiration or excretion for example.
But not only water is lost during these processes. Electrolytes are those vital chemicals needed for proper functioning of our heart, kidneys, nervous and muscular systems among other functions. These electrolytes are soluble in water. This means that when we lose water from the body, we lose electrolytes.
It is vital for us to replace the electrolytes as well as the water.
When hydrating the body, we need to drink lots of water as well as electrolytes. An extremely good isotonic drink or good natural source of electrolytes is coconut water.
4. Fasting occasionally
Eating and drinking are critical for life. However sometimes the body becomes overworked and overloaded.
To compensate for these times, controlled fasting is necessary. Fasting times help eliminate toxins and gives the body time to recover after periods of “abuse”.
5. Sufficient rest and sleep
We live in times where we never seem to have enough time to do the things we feel we have to do. This leads to sacrificing our sleep time to complete tasks, watch television, catch up on social media or meet deadlines.
But, our bodies are like machines. They need to be cared for like we look after our cars or computers. One of the ways to keep the machinery well oiled for us is to get sufficient rest and proper sleep.
Different people have different sleep needs. Determine your optimum amount and strive to attain that everyday.
6. Exercise
Finally, having eaten, supplemented, drank, fasted and rested properly, we need to exercise.
Exercise produces “feel good” hormones. It eliminates toxins. It tones our muscles and increases our energy levels. It may also be a time for socialization or reflection.
Exercise should include cardiovascular activities, resistance training and flexibility training.
Of course if you are over forty, like I am, consult a professional before beginning a new programme of exercise.
For more information on these steps, you may read Chapter 4 in my book, Bounce Back Better, 10+1 Key Steps for Building Resilience.
Let me know if you feel great even when you are not so great.
Educater 