Series of Workshops on Resilience

We all go through rough times.

It may be a loss of job, loss of a loved one through death or breakup, loss of good health, loss of sense of self after a devastating blow or business or examination failure.

Whatever your particular loss may be at this point in time, I have come to realize that there are some basic steps that can help to smooth the transition to a “new normal”.

I recognized a pattern of behaviours to overcome tough times through my own life’s journeys down a rocky road that at one point involved being a survivor of gun violence.

Resilient woman

My third book,”Bounce Back Better, 10(+1) Key Steps for Building Resilience” discusses the steps that all of us need to employ as we traverse this unpredictable, sometimes bumpy life pathway.


Out of the third book, I have developed and am developing a series of workshops that will soon be available. The workshops are entitled:

  • Women’s Leadership Workshop: The Resilient Woman
  • Girls’ Empowerment Workshop Series: The Resilient Girl (Ages 12 to 18)
  • Boys’ Empowerment Workshop Series: The Resilient Boy (Ages 12 to 18)
  • Men’s Leadership Workshop: The Resilient Man

The series are 12 part series based on the principles in my book, Bounce Back Better. Each workshop is specifically modified for the the selected audience. The workshops include specially designed workbooks and can be done as half day sessions (12) or whole day sessions (6).

The series :

  • develops definitions of success and resilience,
  • evaluates participants current level of resilience,
  • provides and develops the steps needed for resilience and
  • includes interactive exercises on faith, personal strength, social networks and higher values.

I am planning to host the various workshops online at some point in time and will soon make available an introductory video.

If you are interested in the workshops, online or offline, leave a comment below. You can follow my blog to receive information as it becomes available or leave your email address in the form below.


The Leaning Tower of… You!

Here is another offering from my new book, sent for publishing and soon to be launched.

“…making incremental changes, particularly during times of trauma or crisis, may be easier to do than making radical changes. Additionally, a shift in behaviour could translate into significant emotional and intellectual alterations.


Consider the Leaning Tower of Pisa. The Tower now leans at an angle that has been adjusted over the years since its construction. The top of the Tower is about 4.5 metres displaced from the vertical. What this means is that there is a slight displacement at the base of the Tower that manifests into an amazing tourist attraction at the top and a phenomenon of physics. Regardless of the reasons behind the leaning of the Tower, the result is indisputable. A slight shift is sufficient to create a wonder!”

Have you ever noticed any significant change in your life resulting from a minor alteration in your belief, attitude or behaviour? Leave a comment below to let me know please.

Locked in defeat’s dentate grip?


A little bit of sharing today – a quote from my soon to be published book, “Bounce Back Better”.

One of the things I do when one of life’s troughs dips into my life is that I get extremely quiet. It helps me to calm my mind and emotions and to come to terms with what is happening.

Leave a comment below to share with us one little thing that you do to help you cope with big or small challenges.

When you crash into a rock…


The storms of life may become so intense, so severe that the figurative electromagnetic glow from your big dream becomes difficult to see. Perhaps you have lost a loved one or had a bad medical diagnosis. Maybe you lost a job or are in danger of doing so. There may be trouble in a romantic relationship or a pending poor examination result. There is a wide range of turbulence in this short life.

What may seem minor to you could prove overwhelming to another. We all have different coping mechanisms. Some of us are more emotionally vulnerable than others. That is a biological fact. Some persons are sensitive enough to detect very slight emotional changes that others may not notice. These people often also experience more intense emotions. Such individuals are susceptible to more frequent, unpredictable, extreme and long-lasting emotional attacks.

This emotional response is compounded by another biological response: impulsivity. There are a lot of people who have great difficulty regulating their responses to a variety a stimuli. Their actions tend to get them into trouble. They act responsively, later realizing that they ought not to have reacted as they did, to the extent they did. These persons act out in ways that are determined by how they feel. This type of action gets in the way of being able to achieve set goals. For impulsive people keeping their emotions and actions compartmentalized is a real challenge and as such they are unable to achieve effectiveness in their daily lives.

The social environment strongly influences emotions and actions. A supportive environment promotes more effective coping mechanisms for an emotionally vulnerable, impulsive person. I will talk about this in a subsequent post. For now I want to focus on how anyone of us could cope during a stormy life episode.

In the last post, which you may read about here, I wrote about the importance of having a detailed, passion-filled dream. When your ship of life crashes into a rock and thrusts you into  great physical, emotional and mental trauma is it possible to hold on to that dream? I want to suggest that you should hold on to the dream but… temporarily defer acting on that dream until such time as you need to feel, grieve and come to acceptance.

Research in psychology has shown that there Is a higher level of functionality after a critical incidence by individuals who were able and willing to embrace their pain. The idea is that experiencing pain to its fullest is a great form of therapy. It brings you to the point of being able to move toward healing. If you have to then cry, reflect, feel the hurt and pain and anger. Go inwardly to your lowest depths and feel. The emphasis at this point is to feel not to act. Do not act in haste. It may be best to defer making difficult decisions at this time. You want to act later rather than sooner to avoid impulsivity.

Not being able to feel and to grieve for what has happened leaves you imprisoned by the bondage of a lack of forgiveness, thoughts of revenge and your eventual anchoring in the past. To move on from a difficult situation means leaving behind the source of your pain after feeling it, grieving the resultant loss and coming to acceptance of your new situation.

Your circumstances are different after any trial but thankfully different may be better. Your trials are transient. Your challenges will bring change and creativity. Seeing it through those difficult times in your life promises that you will be able to recalibrate and begin to bounce back better.

The Lighthouse


Picture this: You are stranded at sea in a boat with a small crew and it is a stormy night. The waves are crashing all around and the night is outstandingly dark. The boat bobs unsteadily along as water sprays and hits you with unbelievable force. Navigation becomes difficult, almost impossible. Then… a brilliant, steady and reassuring light, gradually growing brighter, appears in the distance.

The captain steers in the direction of that lifeline, that glow of safety and comfort. The boat draws closer and closer to the shore. There is a huge crashing wave which almost sweeps the boat under. Almost. The boat is temporarily thrown off course but the captain soon recalculates and gets the boat back on track, a little closer to his destination. This happens over and over until finally he is able to cast anchor. Thank goodness for that beacon guiding him towards the harbor.

Your life’s big dream or goal is like that beacon from the lighthouse. It should remain shining brightly in the distance guiding you closer to its final accomplishment. No matter what life throws your way, no matter what obstacles you have to overcome, you keep your focus on that goal.

Having your life goal clearly defined and written or drawn to concretize it, ensures that it saturates your thoughts. It then directly influences all your actions and decisions. It impacts on your education, your choice of spouse, your house, your children…

The best dreams are infused with passion based on your innate gifts, your talents, your skills, your knowledge and your preferences. My own dream has always been to be a philanthropist. I started taking action many years ago; I started in a small way, working on my own. As time progressed I worked with some enthusiastic persons in a group we formed just for that purpose.

When my life was thrown into turmoil and my circumstances changed, I had to take some time to re- calculate my personal GPS. Having done that, I have readjusted my sight on the guiding light of my dream and am still slowly taking steps to achieve that goal.

All of us need to have a clearly outlined, detailed life plan or big dream as I like to call it. That dream ought to be guided by our unique gifts.  Having such a dream written or drawn so that each day you can look at it, means that even in turbulent times, you will be able to recover and take positive action steps to bring you back onto the course of your dream.

Do you have a tangible life plan or big dream? Are you working toward it consciously or not?

The Choice

“When the clouds have blown away,
The skies, once again, clear and bright,
and the mood around you is light.
You realize you made it through,
Somehow you managed to survive.
Unsure if the darkness is really over,
If soon that too will be a distant memory-
Unsure but certain that now
Out of the red haze,
You are not the same person you were before.
By choice you sink into despair,
By choice you rise: stronger, more determined, better!”

Prayer for Today

Here are the headlines in our three national daily newspapers. This is the stimulus for the prayer today.



Heavenly Father, the light and life of this world, we rejoice today for this is your day. We give you all praise and thanks for your works in and around us.

Lord we come before you in humility and sorrow. We live like there is no greater tomorrow. Our young people are being killed by the bullet and we seem to have lost all control.

Have mercy upon us O Lord. We know that we have done wrong, are still doing wrong but today dear Father we cast off all attachments to wrongdoing and sin and come before you with repentant hearts.

Help us dear God as a people, to move closer to you. Help our hearts to be filled with love for our fellowman. Help us to find ways to bring this violence and devotion to violence to an end.

Touch the hearts of those who have grown so far from you that they have lost touch with humanity, compassion and respect for life.

Show us a way forward to bring harmony and peace back to our nation and to lead our young people in the way that is right.

These things we ask in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ,



Prayer for Peace

In this post join me in praying for an ease to all the violence, murders, crimes, abuse, hatred and general ill-will making headlines nationally in Trinidad and internationally.,d.eWE&psig=AFQjCNFSHXFYSONLBHmwFlLcNgCUNEwXwA&ust=1449488850638766

We come together Dear Lord in your name, as we pray for your Holy Spirit to descend on us. Surround us with your grace, mercy and purity that we may be able to face any situation with equilibrium and calm. We pray that we react to others in love, knowing that love is the antidote for anger, rage and hatred. Let your peace descend upon our nations. Keep us protected as we strive to keep peace in our spheres of influence, through your Son, our Saviour Jesus Christ we pray,


Add your own prayer , asking specifically for what you need in your community. Please leave us with the blessing of your added request in the comment box below.

Prayer Group

Today I want to start a prayer group. It is a group open to all and for all. I will keep my contributions short and simple. I urge you to join in at anytime, offering prayers for anyone, for any reason. Let us join together to keep faith alive and to offer hope in a time of ever dwindling hope.

The theme for prayer today is thanks.

Heavenly Father, I give you thanks for the blessing of life. For the smell of fresh air and the sound of the rain as it pours down on the rooftop, I give thanks. For being able to speak, to eat, to see and to hear, dear Lord and for the gift of love to and from others, I praise and thank you Lord.

I am grateful for the gift of family and friends and for all those I do not know. All honour and glory to you Dear Father for your mighty works every minute of every hour of every day, in Jesus Name I pray,


May the Lord bless and keep you.

You may join and contribute to the prayer group by leaving a comment or your own prayer in the comment box below. Your contribution to the prayer group would be very much appreciated.