bounce back better, grief, inspirational, motivational, resilience, stress, stress management

When you crash into a rock…

 

The storms of life may become so intense, so severe that the figurative electromagnetic glow from your big dream becomes difficult to see. Perhaps you have lost a loved one or had a bad medical diagnosis. Maybe you lost a job or are in danger of doing so. There may be trouble in a romantic relationship or a pending poor examination result. There is a wide range of turbulence in this short life.

What may seem minor to you could prove overwhelming to another. We all have different coping mechanisms. Some of us are more emotionally vulnerable than others. That is a biological fact. Some persons are sensitive enough to detect very slight emotional changes that others may not notice. These people often also experience more intense emotions. Such individuals are susceptible to more frequent, unpredictable, extreme and long-lasting emotional attacks.

This emotional response is compounded by another biological response: impulsivity. There are a lot of people who have great difficulty regulating their responses to a variety a stimuli. Their actions tend to get them into trouble. They act responsively, later realizing that they ought not to have reacted as they did, to the extent they did. These persons act out in ways that are determined by how they feel. This type of action gets in the way of being able to achieve set goals. For impulsive people keeping their emotions and actions compartmentalized is a real challenge and as such they are unable to achieve effectiveness in their daily lives.

The social environment strongly influences emotions and actions. A supportive environment promotes more effective coping mechanisms for an emotionally vulnerable, impulsive person. I will talk about this in a subsequent post. For now I want to focus on how anyone of us could cope during a stormy life episode.

In the last post, which you may read about here, I wrote about the importance of having a detailed, passion-filled dream. When your ship of life crashes into a rock and thrusts you into  great physical, emotional and mental trauma is it possible to hold on to that dream? I want to suggest that you should hold on to the dream but… temporarily defer acting on that dream until such time as you need to feel, grieve and come to acceptance.

Research in psychology has shown that there Is a higher level of functionality after a critical incidence by individuals who were able and willing to embrace their pain. The idea is that experiencing pain to its fullest is a great form of therapy. It brings you to the point of being able to move toward healing. If you have to then cry, reflect, feel the hurt and pain and anger. Go inwardly to your lowest depths and feel. The emphasis at this point is to feel not to act. Do not act in haste. It may be best to defer making difficult decisions at this time. You want to act later rather than sooner to avoid impulsivity.

Not being able to feel and to grieve for what has happened leaves you imprisoned by the bondage of a lack of forgiveness, thoughts of revenge and your eventual anchoring in the past. To move on from a difficult situation means leaving behind the source of your pain after feeling it, grieving the resultant loss and coming to acceptance of your new situation.

Your circumstances are different after any trial but thankfully different may be better. Your trials are transient. Your challenges will bring change and creativity. Seeing it through those difficult times in your life promises that you will be able to recalibrate and begin to bounce back better.

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