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Out with the old…

So… on Thursday 20th March, 2014, I was summoned to the office of the Victims of Violent Crimes Compensation Board. I had applied for the compensation fund last year and had since found out that there would be a series of interviews with different departments until they had come to a final decision. I had been to one interview thus far.

I set off from home at about 6:45a.m. that morning. I had decided to travel to the capital city of Port of Spain via the water taxi. The water taxi sets sail at different times in the morning. The best time for me to leave, to get to the capital for 9:00a.m., would be the 8:00a.m. departure time.

I got to the terminal at about 7:15a.m. and got my tickets immediately. There was no one else at the counter at that time. I purchased a ticket for my friend who was accompanying me. We sat in the allocated seats until boarding time. It was fun to observe the other passengers. Some were seasoned travellers on their way to work, some were travelling for the first time and others just looked as though they did not want to be there but would have preferred to have been in bed.

Finally it was time to board. We proceeded row by row onto the taxi. My friend selected seats which would not be in direct sunlight – thank goodness. The engines soon began to roar and we were off. We read our papers and by 8:40a.m. we had arrived at the port of Port of Spain. I was a little bit apprehensive as I did not know what exactly I was going to be facing but I said nothing to my friend. We walked about the area for a short time to check out the booths in the Breakfast Shed. I really think that too much fuss is made over the Breakfast Shed. The booths were small and cramped. The cooks and helpers looked sweaty and uninviting. The food did not look appealing and the odours were not pleasant.

After we left the Shed, we headed to my destination. The building I was going to also houses the Parliament of Trinidad and Tobago. On entering I had to pass through a metal detector and my purse was searched. I had to sign in at a reception desk before being directed to go up to floor 20. As I approached the elevators a guard seemed to already know where I was heading and he depressed the button to enter the elevator. I was escorted up to the required floor. The building was very discreetly constructed. I saw nobody, no offices, nothing. I entered a lobby area where I gave my name and was asked to sit and wait.

I waited for about five minutes before being called into an inner office. There was very little to see here also. I saw only one person and one desk but I was aware that there were many other desks. The clerk pulled out a document to show me what the cheque would look like, then left me for a few minutes to retrieve the actual cheque. I cannot adequately describe the overwhelming emotions I felt. I could not stop crying. Even when the clerk came back I tried desperately to regain my composure but to no avail. I signed as having received my cheque and she graciously escorted me back to the elevator. I cried all the way down to the ground floor. I cried as I left the building. I cried as I waited for my friend to come back for me outside the building. I cried even when he met me, right in front the entrance to Parliament.

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It was a cleansing cry. I had expected to be interviewed many times over; to rehash the incident time and time again. I never anticipated that that morning would be the end of a chapter in my life. My crying was not out of sadness. It was not due to remorse. It was due to the wonder of the greatness of God. He was working in my life as I knew He could and even though I knew it , it was still so awesome, so perfect. I was swept away by the intensity of His power and grace.

All the way down to San Fernando – we took a coach or bus- I silently gave thanks to God. My head was hurting from the crying which I had done and I was fatigued from emotion but I was ecstatic. The mighty hand of God was moving in my life. I once again dedicated my life to Him. His will is my will. Whatever He wants is what I want. With Him nothing is impossible, none can harm me.

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