So yesterday I visited the doctor once again. He is an oral maxillofacial surgeon, the best in the country, in the region. I went to remove the bars which had been installed for fixation of the jaws prior to reconstruction. The visit was routine, there was nothing special about the day. I had not seen the doctor and his assistants for quite a while so it felt good to see them again. They were all welcoming. Before the start of the procedure, the doctor had to put me to “sleep” with a general anaesthetic. As the anaesthetic kicked in I began to feel drowsy in a most pleasant way. I went off without knowing exactly when it happened. The next thing I recalled is that I was feeling him pulling something like a ribbon from my mouth. The anaesthetic was wearing off. Thank God he was on the last of the bars. I did not feel any pain.
Next they helped me up off the bed to guide me to the other room where I was to remain until they felt I was steady enough to proceed home. This is where things took a different turn. I must have started travelling. There was only pure, clean whiteness. There was peace and I wanted to stay there singing God’s praises all day long. I know I kept talking out loud and they implored me to stop talking. Perhaps I was disturbing the other patients. Strangely I was in a different place but I was aware of all that was happening around me. I was moving closer and closer to God and even though I heard the nurse calling me I did not answer because I just wanted to be quiet. I did not want to communicate with them. When they touched me I asked them not to because it felt as though they were defiling a pure moment. I kept drifting, drawing nearer to God. I begged Him to show Himself to me. I could feel His imminent presence. When I finally was within His presence it could only be described as awesome. His greatness is overwhelming. So great and powerful is He that I could not view Him directly. My body curled up under the power of Him and all my fears, my words they just were stilled. I felt as one with Him.
At this point I think my friend, who had been called into the room, began to panic for fear that I was passing away. I knew the nurses came rushing back in, I knew they called me and pinched me to bring me back. All of those actions did not help. I simply could not tarnish my pristine moments. After a while though I responded to them and told them that He was not ready for me to leave as yet but that I would be returning in the next five minutes. I even got the nurse to sing that beautiful gospel song “My God is awesome.” The feeling was so intense, so potent that I resisted leaving for such a long time that I began to see a tunnel.
The tunnel was dark and long and I was heading straight toward it because I knew if I went there I would be with my Saviour forever. It was not to be. My God really was not ready for me. I felt the nurses insistently calling me. I heard God directing me to return. Reluctantly, slowly, I allowed myself to draw away from that Holy ground. I opened my eyes ever so slightly and arose from the bed cautiously and with assistance. As I walked out of the office, I was drifting, I was afloat, walking on air, still caught up in the reverence of the peace and holiness of experiencing God.